enough

I am tired of it all.
My wife hates Christmas. It is only November but it has started already, so predictable.
Nurses are striking. My major case was cancelled. I can't judge but everyone seems to want conflict.
I don't know if  I am tired or depressed, if I need a holiday or medical treatment, retirement or a kick in the backside. I just don't feel like working.

I have been thinking about motivation, thinking about our neurological reward system. I imagine that, every time we act, we ask it if it will make us feel good. I wonder if I can ignore it and continue to do what I have planned, or perhaps that is still the reward system in action - telling me that there is more pleasure in following the plan. Or, perhaps I can ignore the reward system for a while but will suffer the consequences later, such as depression or lack of drive. Maybe that is what is happening now after working too much for too long.
 Or maybe it's just Monday again.