enough

The week before Christmas I wanted to stop work and retire.

 I was too busy to eat. The other part time obstetrician refused to work. I had to prepare for Christmas, a meal for nearly twenty people, and presents still to buy. On the Thursday I admitted that I couldn't cope any more. Words were spoken and somebody took my place. That night I was finished. I have never given in to pressure before but I didn't feel well and I had only one day to finish shopping for presents. All the fresh food for the meal would need to be purchased the following day, the day before Christmas.

The shopping was a failure. I couldn't think. I was exhausted, short of breath. There were aches in my muscles and abdominal spasms like hunger pains. I gave up. At home I felt nauseated and went to bed, waking with nausea throughout the night. Next morning I brought up everything I had eaten for the previous  two days. I couldn't get out of bed.

The day before Christmas is a blur, spent sprawled in bed. Occasionally, my oldest daughter or my mother would bring me a tablet or some fluid. I had dishes planned which couldn' t be made but my daughter collected the turkey and brought fresh vegetables and fruit. I slept. My son drove to the city to bring his mother home for a day.

After sleeping for a day and a night, I awoke early on Christmas morning and put the turkey in the oven. My daughter and her boyfriend had already stuffed the bird so it was ready to cook, but I didn't have the energy to do any more. All those vegetarian dishes would have to be shelved. Then people started to help, to share the work, and a selection of dishes were prepared to make the meal a success. I don't think I should have been handling food anyway as it was uncertain whether I had food poisoning or gastroenteritis.

The presents were opened in a good spirit then the guests arrived. The meal was very good though I didn't eat much, and the gathering was worth the effort.

raining in the morning

a vegetarian meal

a rainbow formed after a late afternoon storm

the most intense rainbow I have seen

the end of a good day

Now I have been on holiday for a week which seems like no time at all. I am bringing my wife home today. In two days we are going to the beach for another week then I must return to work.

 I don't know if I can keep working. It is too hard.